Don’t push me, or I’ll slip away like a fish from my hands
Even if a person does not believe in horoscopes, he still, willy-nilly, at least once read them at least in order to exclaim: “Yes, this is complete nonsense!” Of course, each person has an individual set of qualities, shortcomings and advantages, it is pointless to deny this.
However, despite this, astrologers still manage to highlight the features that are characteristic of almost all representatives of one or another zodiac sign. All of them are collected here and thoroughly seasoned with humor, because the ability to laugh at oneself is the art of aerobatics.
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Better not to argue with me.
I’ll do it first, then I’ll think about it.
Where others are slowing down, I step on the gas.
I’ll be forever young.
Do as I do, because you can’t do better anyway.
The most difficult thing is to listen to the interlocutor to the end.
Stubbornness is not a vice.
It is easy to control the situation, more difficult to control your emotions.
One ram is good, two rams are many.
I don’t attack first. But God forbid to hurt me.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
I don’t mind buying money, I’m sorry for a party.
I don’t need someone else’s, don’t touch mine.
A thin world is better than a good quarrel.
Do not bother the one who is well seated.
Better a beautiful sofa than a beautiful sunset.
Food is serious.
A tender calf sucks two queens.
When you go second, you save energy.
I hate disposable lighters!
Taster is my true calling.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20)
I’m not the same today as yesterday.
Who owns the situation, he owns the information.
One mind is good and two is better, especially if both belong to the same person.
Figaro is here, Figaro is there.
The idea, like other products, should not be stale.
One TV and telephone in the house is good, but three is better.
Those who did not have time were late.
I move through life like a scooter on water – not going deep, but fast.
I do not answer the flea market “sales talk”.
I love quantity, because there is not enough time for quality.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
My home is my castle.
Nursing others is my true calling.
It would be nice to stock up on everything in the world: both patience and jam.
Everything comes to the one who knows how to wait.
Meet your friends at home, not in a cafe.
Nothing warms the soul like the sight of a full refrigerator.
Better to dig, but buy a worthy thing.
It’s hard to live where there is nowhere to hide.
I carry my past with me like a backpack.
Can a coat be worn out in twenty years?
Leo (July 23 – August 22)
I will lead you into a bright distance.
It is better to provide support than to receive it.
Nice manners are half the battle.
The sun shines for Leo.
A beautiful plaque on the office door is more important than a high salary.
I love making good money, and even more – spending.
A grand piano in a house is better than a piano, even if there is no one to play it.
Despite my affable appearance, I am a dictator at heart.
If you do – so in a big way. Why do you need the sun if I am with you?
Virgo (August 23 – September 22)
Patience and a little effort.
Modesty adorns not only a girl, but also a virgin.
Everyone lives for himself, but serves others.
Order is needed everywhere: in thoughts and in the kitchen.
Prove to me strictly logically that we are made for each other.
The crooked shelf is driving me crazy.
On a large scale, I am lost.
It’s hard for me to get the seeds out of a whole bucket of cherries
Every Virgo has a first-class lady.
Amanita must certainly be conspicuous, and the porcini mushroom is so good.
Libra (September 23 – October 22)
Without a partner – as without hands.
The worst thing is to argue.
Win by agreeing.
Only fools are principled.
I will involve anyone in anything.
Beauty will save the world.
Everything should be done according to the mood.
The hardest part is making a choice.
Not all “i” s should be dotted.
Sometimes I myself do not know whether I am for white or for red.
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)
It’s a pity there is no one to sting.
Every event is like a sofa: there must be hidden springs in it.
There must be a good reason for smiling.
You can free yourself from everything, but not from your own passions.
I sing a song of love on the battlefield.
Not everyone can stand my gaze.
My passions rarely come out, just like a shark rarely comes to the surface.
The world disappears without knights.
Not yet extinct on the land of Othella!
I am like a cactus – my fabulous flower opens up for the elite.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)
There should be a lot of good people.
To whom I owe, I forgive everyone.
The best vacation is a trip around the world.
The main thing in the problem is its scale.
My ideal is King.
You can’t be angry with me.
Remorse – what is it? Obligation adorns only mediocre people.
Worrying in advance is stupid, let’s figure out the situation.
An optional person simply has to be required.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)
I’m not a sprinter, or even a stayer. I’m a marathon runner.
And one soldier in the field. Don’t break the laws – someone else will do it, and you will be caught.
I need very little for myself.
My property is a mirror of my success.
Life is like a train arriving at the station exactly on schedule.
It’s nice to talk about distant countries while sitting at home.
Real Capricorn, like cognac, is distinguished by endurance.
It is worth climbing to the top all your life in order to spit down from there once.
Only I get younger over the years.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
How boring it is to be like others!
If I made you up, become what I want.
Prejudice is the lot of fools.
The future just has to be great.
It is difficult to be an angel, but it is necessary.
Good intention is more important than good deeds.
To become an innovator, you must first forget about tradition.
Sex? There are more important things to do in life.
First friends, and then family … If, of course, there is time.
There is no kinder me, no more cheerful me.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20)
Empathy is more important than helping.
I can not refuse alcohol, as a fish from water.
The order was invented by boring people.
Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
You never know what I can promise …
Working in a hurry is like swallowing without chewing.
I am ready to understand everyone, just not myself.
The willow bends in a storm, and the oak falls.
Everyone knows that I’m always busy, but very few people know what exactly.
Don’t put pressure on me, or I’ll slip away like a fish from my hands!